Mending a Broken Heart

(This article was published in the SW Florida Health and Wellness Magazine)

Suffering with a broken heart is one of the most painful experiences in human existence. Most people think that a broken heart occurs when we lose someone we love, or we are going through a divorce.  However, a broken heart can also occur from the loss of a job, traumas, loneliness, fighting within the family, wanting parental approval, disappointments, loss of one’s self, betrayal, or if your life just isn’t working out the way that you would like for it to be.  Luckily, there are many ways to reduce the pain of a broken heart.  

Practice Healing Behaviors –

• Take some time to be still and gentle and compassionate with yourself when you are going through a trial or difficult situation.  Just as you would if you were healing from heart surgery.  Don’t wear yourself down trying to figure things out.

• Be around gentle people.  Stay away from chaotic energy.  Give yourself a chance to heal by taking a break from those who keep ‘picking the scab’.

• Write about your present feelings and what you want to experience in the future. Words are powerful healers.  

• Take naps and give your brain a break from the emotional distress.

• Allow yourself to cry and get rid of the emotional toxins in the body and allow room for more of the positive ones to come in.

• Release toxic emotions through creative expression such as dance, gardening, art, play a musical instrument.  Creative energy allows you to permit healing energy into your soul.  

• Take a break from the sadness – ask yourself “what would my life be like over the next few hours if I focused on something else?”

• Take up a new hobby.  It represents new beginnings for you unconsciously and starts to develop new neurological pathways in the brain allowing the brain to regroup itself and produce healing neurotransmitters in the brain/body.

Potent Psychological Strategies -

• Surrender – Stop blaming and struggling.  Let go of the why.  We don’t need to know why things happen the way they do.  Always know that whatever is happening in your life is happening for your highest good.  Trust this belief and accept what is.  And forgive because we cannot heal as long as we are hanging on to resentment and unforgiveness.  This does not mean forget!  Put your hands up and send love to the person that you are trying to forgive.  It is a healing act for YOU.

• Teach your brain to think new thoughts even though you don’t feel like it.  Train yourself to see through the eyes of love rather than through fear or anger.  When you wake up in the morning spend the first 17 seconds purposely holding happy positive thoughts. This shifts your consciousness in the realm of love and optimism.

• The gratitude center in the brain is located near the pleasure center – write down 5 things each morning that you are truly grateful for.  This puts you on a healing path throughout your day and you will not obsess over your distress nearly as much.

• Let go of the idea of the way you think things should have been.  Maybe there is a better way, or a reason why a troubling event happened that you cannot see yet. Have blind faith.  Trust. Don’t stay stuck on the why.  This keeps you in the pain.  Remember that confusion is normal.  Learn to be okay with not knowing, and the confusion.  This allows the confusion to clear up because you have allowed it to just be.

• Let go of guilt and shame.  These useless emotions keep us sick and stuck.  Take the time to devise a ritual for yourself where you actually write the feelings down and then burn the paper.


Powerful Spiritual Techniques –

• Your inner healer – We all have an inner healer that holds the insights and healing energy located within you.  Your inner healer will give you nudges or information on what you need to heal yourself.  There is a sense of safety and well being when you are connected to your inner healer.  “I am safe and all is well.” When your inner healer flows freely, your heart begins to mend.  You have allowed your higher power to work for you.

• If you are missing the loss of a loved one, ask for a sign letting you know they are okay.  Loved ones that have passed can also give us messages in our dreams.

• If you are indecisive and don’t know what to do next, ask for a clear sign from the Divine.  You are not doing this alone.

• Practice listening to heart healing music and meditations.  They are designed to align with the frequency of a healed and peaceful heart.

• Maybe your broken heart is in some way related to a past life?  Or the purpose for having it in this life is to help you achieve your soul’s mission?  Having a past life regression can be very enlightening and help you to understand your pain on a deeper level. Study some of the work of Dr. Brian Weiss.

• Some people experience trauma early in life and a part of their soul breaks away during childhood during the abusive or traumatic situation.  Ultimately, they go through life without a sense of purpose, identity, and direction. This creates a chronic sense of having a broken heart. Soul retrieval is an amazing spiritual healing method that can heal the heart and put the pieces back together again.

• Is there a larger spiritual reason for your broken heart? Ask yourself, does this situation strengthen my spirituality?  Some people will say, I never had such a close connection with The Creator until I had that hardship. You are given an inner strength that comes straight from the divine.  This is crucial because there is so much that we are faced with in life that we cannot handle on our own.

• Change how you think about death.  Millions of people have had afterlife experiences and come back to tell that death is a glorious experience.  A book entitled, Proof of Heaven by Dr. Alexander, a brain surgeon who tells of his afterlife experience that gives many people peace around the loss of a loved one.

Blog Post written by:

Dr. Nickerson's professional experience as a psychologist and personal passion for developing the mind-body-spirit connection have fueled her success and devotion to training individuals and organizations to foster whole wellness.

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