Ghostlighting: The Spiritual Sleight of Hand

Ghostlighting = Gaslighting + Ghosting

It’s astonishing how some individuals who consider themselves highly spiritual react to others' hardships with an emotionless demeanor or, worse, with ‘fake compassion’. They may say all the right things, but their emotions are entirely disengaged, making it clear they aren't genuinely feeling what they express. Sometimes, they go so far as to 'leave the person alone' until the emotional storm passes. It’s like they can’t be spiritual and present to emotions at the same time.

True spiritual enlightenment involves genuine concern for others, emotional availability during crises, and showing compassion through words and actions. Living the human experience in the 3rd dimensional world is challenging, but it’s this very struggle that connects us and makes us aware of and present to the emotions of others. Skipping over this essential integration to jump straight to the 5th dimension is a disservice to our growth. We must fully embrace the key aspects of the 3rd dimension—authentic emotional awareness and expression for ourselves and others before elevating to 5th dimensional living.

Ghostlighting occurs when someone vanishes or distances themselves after shunning or invalidating your emotional experience, and then pretends nothing happened when confronted. It’s a combination of ghosting and gaslighting. This behavior leaves you feeling dismissed and doubting the validity of your emotions. It’s a disorienting experience that can make you wonder if being spiritual means giving up emotional awareness, empathy, and genuine connection.

Spiritual bypassing, the act of using spirituality to avoid facing uncomfortable or negative emotions, distances us from the fullness of our true selves. Many light workers, believing they are here to raise the Earth’s vibration, also believe they should only focus solely on the positive. This ego-driven tactic aligns with the false matrix, keeping us in a state of denial. They haven't yet realized they do not have to be afraid of emotions as they have the power to alchemize negative emotions for themselves and others. The real mission of light workers is to model allowing and then transmuting a full spectrum of emotions, helping to reduce the collective pain and suffering.

This understanding transcends teachings like those of Abraham Hicks, who advocate focusing exclusively on the positive, which ultimately continues to contribute to the false matrix. It's not about ruminating in negativity or avoiding positive thinking. It's about harnessing the power to alchemize both the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’, allowing all emotions to flow THROUGH your physical body, so they can be transmuted; rather than denying, dismissing, or repressing them (or encouraging/shaming others to do the same). This is the true lightworker’s soul’s contract. To transmute emotional energy in an effort to bring heaven on earth.

By acknowledging and transforming negative emotions, we can live more authentic, connected, and fulfilling lives. Embracing the entire emotional spectrum fosters true spiritual and emotional growth, allowing us to connect deeply with ourselves and others, and ultimately, to elevate our collective consciousness.

Some examples of spiritual bypassing:

At a funeral, rather than honoring the deep sadness of the family, religious leaders often say, "We realize that God has a bigger plan." While this may be true, using it to bypass or dismiss the emotional state of loved ones is a form of emotional neglect. You can’t talk someone out of their emotional grief. The best thing you can do as one human to another is honor their feelings so they can begin to heal.

Or when a child is involved in a car accident but comes out alive – as the mother is crying and shaking, she will be met with dismissive statements like, “Why are you crying? You should be happy he got out of that alive”, rather than “I know this has to be so incredibly terrifying for you.”

Another example is when a mother is distraught after finding out that her 14-year-old daughter is pregnant. Spiritual bypassing would be, “This must be a very special child to be born into such unexpected circumstances.” Whereas an emotionally intelligent and compassionate response might be, “I know this has to be very shocking and upsetting for you.  Please know I am here for you.” (and mean it).

This lack of connection and degradation of the human experience is becoming more prevalent in our culture. Other cultures might be horrified by this behavior. We are so disconnected and negligent; but even worse, we don’t even know it. And many would go so far as to deny it. They have not yet realized that you can weep and still be counted as a spiritual warrior.

In conclusion, the journey to spiritual enlightenment should not involve bypassing human emotions. Instead, we should embrace and transmute these emotions to foster genuine growth and connection. By doing so, we honor our true selves and fulfill our purpose as light workers, while contributing to a more balanced and harmonious world.

Blog Post written by:

Dr. Nickerson's professional experience as a psychologist and personal passion for developing the mind-body-spirit connection have fueled her success and devotion to training individuals and organizations to foster whole wellness.

Read Dr. Nickerson’s full bio here.

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