Back in 2020, my mental health spiraled out of control for the first time. At the time, I didn’t fully understand why it happened. I thought it was simply because my plans for the year had been ruined, and I had no back up plan.
But looking back now, I can see it wasn’t just the ruined plans. It was loneliness.
I had been silently suffering from loneliness for a few years already, and social distancing was just the cherry on top that sent everything crumbling.
I had always imagined loneliness as an elderly person sitting alone in a big house with curtains drawn shut and no one ever visiting. But I learned that that’s far from the truth. People suffering from loneliness can actually hide well in plain sight. They can smile and laugh just like anyone else, but it’s only a mask to hide the pain they’re carrying.
That brings us to the question: what exactly is loneliness?
What Is Loneliness?
It’s common to confuse loneliness, social isolation, and solitude since they all have something to do with being or feeling alone. But the truth is, these are three different things.
- Loneliness: a subjective feeling – it’s not about how many people are around us. You can feel lonely in a crowded room, and you can be by yourself and not feel lonely.
- Solitude: being alone without feeling lonely.
- Social isolation: the objective state of lacking social interaction.
It’s also worth noting that loneliness and social isolation can co-exist, and one leads to the other.
How Loneliness Affects Mental Health
The effect of loneliness on mental health is often overlooked – especially when a person seems to have many social connections. But loneliness is much more common than we think, and it can come from all kinds of experiences: a lack of good relationships in childhood, trauma, life abroad, aging, and more.
Research shows that loneliness is linked to depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation.
- Loneliness can instigate mental health struggles. For example, people experiencing loneliness often feel like no one cares about them and that their life doesn’t have a purpose – thoughts that can lead to suicidal ideation.
- Loneliness can worsen existing struggles. Someone already dealing with anxiety, for example, might become more anxious if they feel lonely after moving to a new city or losing someone close.
Loneliness isn’t just a passing emotion – it can deeply impact mental health.
What Can We Do to Overcome Loneliness?
The good news is that loneliness isn’t permanent. There are ways to lessen its effects and even overcome it altogether.
- Connect with community: Volunteering or joining community activities that interest you is a great way to meet people with similar values and passions.
- Focus on quality, not quantity: Instead of trying to make ten new friends, start with one or two. Deep, meaningful relationships are what help us feel connected.
- Take care of your mental health: If loneliness is tied to trauma, depression, or anxiety, it’s important to work with a professional. In the meantime, practices like meditation, yoga, and slow breathing can help calm the nervous system and reduce loneliness triggers.
For me personally, the turning point came when I began to identify the root of my loneliness and work through it with mindfulness and therapy. I also started putting myself out there in environments which made me feel safe.
The road to recovery is long, but it’s worth it. Our mental health – and our future selves – will thank us for every small step we take toward connection.
References
Cherry, K. (2025). How Social Isolation Can Damage Your Mental Health. VeryWell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/the-impact-of-social-isolation-on-mental-health-7185458
Shankar, R. (2023). Loneliness, Social Isolation, and its Effects on Physical and Mental Health. PubMedCentral. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10121112/#b7-ms120_p0106
Bruss, K. V., Seth, P., Zhao, G. (2024). Loneliness, Lack of Social and Emotional Support, and Mental Health Issues — United States, 2022. CDC. https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/73/wr/mm7324a1.htm#suggestedcitation
Mann, F., Wang, J., Pearce, E., Ma, R., Schlief, M., Lloyd-Evans, B., Ikhtabi, S., & Johnson, S. (2022). Loneliness and the onset of new mental health problems in the general population. PubMedCentral. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9636084/#Sec12
Is Loneliness Making My Mental Health Struggles Harder? (n.d.). Mental Health America. https://mhanational.org/resources/is-loneliness-making-my-mental-health-struggles-harder/
Author Bio
Dariana Durcik Mejia is a recent graduate of Nickerson Institute’s Integrative Mental Health Coaching Program. She graduated from the University of North Georgia in 2023 with a degree in healthcare administration. While studying in university, she began working as a language teacher online. After her mental health struggles in 2020, she became interested in this field, and in 2023, she knew she wanted to help people who have had similar experiences as her own. She’s excited to see what the future holds for her as she begins to build her business.
