Earlier this year, I felt myself slipping. My energy was draining away, and the spark that usually carried me through the day was gone. Even the things that normally grounded me—long walks in the woods, sweating through a workout, sinking into a hot bath with Epsom salts—suddenly felt like chores. I stopped picking up the phone, let messages go unanswered, and numbed myself with bowls of ice cream. Then my body started aching. My heart felt heavy, and I was sure that old, familiar darkness—depression—was headed my way.
But when I finally sat with the discomfort and asked myself what was really going on, the answer surprised me. It wasn’t just sadness. It wasn’t just exhaustion. I was lonely. How could I have missed what was really going on? Then I realized there is shame associated with loneliness. But now I could see the cycle so clearly: the more I hurt, the more I pulled away, and the more I pulled away, the lonelier I became. At the very center of it all was disconnection.
So, I started looking into this thing called loneliness and post-covid social anxiety. I was shocked at what I found!
More people are reporting feelings of chronic loneliness than ever before. Experts are now calling this the epidemic of loneliness, with the U.S. Surgeon General labeling it a public health crisis. Studies show that the health risks of loneliness can be as severe as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
At the Nickerson Institute, we understand loneliness through an integrative mental health lens—seeing it not only as a mental and emotional challenge, but also as a physical and spiritual imbalance. And when even a low dose of social anxiety is present, loneliness can feel even more overwhelming.
What Is the Epidemic of Loneliness?
Loneliness is more than a passing feeling of sadness when you’re alone. It’s the distress we feel when our need for meaningful human connection is unmet. Prolonged loneliness can disrupt every aspect of well-being:
- Mental health: Increases the risk of depression, anxiety, negative thinking, and poor self-esteem.
- Physical health: Raises cortisol (stress hormone) levels, weakens immunity, and contributes to chronic illness.
- Spiritual health: Creates a sense of disconnection from purpose, belonging, and inner peace.
This epidemic is particularly harmful because it feeds into itself—the longer loneliness lasts, the harder it becomes to reach out, especially if you also live with social anxiety disorder or shyness.
The Double Challenge: Loneliness and Social Anxiety
For individuals with social anxiety, loneliness is compounded. You may crave connection but feel paralyzed by fears of rejection, embarrassment, or being judged. Over time, avoiding social interactions reinforces both the anxiety and the isolation.The good news? Research and integrative practices show that it is possible to overcome loneliness and social anxiety with small, intentional steps that balance the body, mind, and spirit.
How to Cope with Loneliness (Even If You Have Social Anxiety)
- Regulate Your Nervous System
Loneliness and anxiety both activate the stress response in the body. Practices like deep breathing, yoga, tai chi, meditation, or grounding exercises calm the nervous system, making social connection feel safer and less overwhelming. - Take Small Steps Toward Connection
You don’t need to attend large social events to reduce loneliness. Start with one safe person or small group. Even a supportive online community can be a gentle first step. - Build “Micro-Connections”
Research shows that everyday social interactions—smiling at a cashier, saying hello to a neighbor, making brief eye contact—boost feelings of belonging. These small actions add up over time. - Reframe Anxious Thoughts
Social anxiety often creates critical inner dialogue such as, “I’ll embarrass myself” or “They won’t like me.” Try replacing them with compassionate thoughts like:- “Listening is just as valuable as talking.”
- “Most people are too focused on themselves to judge me.”
- Strengthen Your Inner Connection
Healing loneliness isn’t only about others—it’s also about how connected you feel to yourself. Journaling, meditation, affirmations, and self-compassion practices reduce inner loneliness and strengthen resilience. - Seek Integrative Mental Health Support
Integrative mental health coaching and therapy can provide holistic tools for navigating both loneliness and social anxiety. These approaches honor the whole person—mind, body, and spirit—while offering practical coping strategies and deeper emotional healing.
Moving from Loneliness to Connection
The epidemic of loneliness is real, but it does not define your future. By taking small, consistent steps—calming your body, reframing your thoughts, and opening yourself to safe, meaningful connections—you can begin to heal.
At the Nickerson Institute, we believe connection is essential for well-being. Healing loneliness is not just about finding others—it’s about remembering that you are part of a greater web of belonging, both human and spiritual.
